Dear Corey,
I don't know how to tell you this, but our socks don't match. I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter outside of your office and I saw you sit on my kneecaps. I'm sure you're open enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and thanks for the cocaine.
Warm tingle sensations,
Aaron
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8